in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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