spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My vagina is very pro this idea
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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