I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
