your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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