i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
