Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
