After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
