You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
