i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
