Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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