I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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