shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
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the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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