Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
