why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
me + whiskey = a bad person
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
