i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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