please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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