you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
