she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
