I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
