Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
