Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i came on her dog
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
