Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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