im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
