Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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