is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
