I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
420 ftw
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
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this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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