Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
