o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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