so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
