the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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