There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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