just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
