I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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