What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All I want is dick and wine.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
