lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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