I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize