She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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