I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
North Korea, Best Korea!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
