respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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