EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Randomize
