Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
