So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This is my gift to your gina
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
