I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
