Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
