worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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