your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
