from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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