saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
