hell yes lets make some ravioli
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
