When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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