I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
