Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
