well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
