do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
