I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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