She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
