The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
