Kiss
Puke
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
