and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
