She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
